Why are we silent?
I thought we’d go to our graves with the secret.
Most of us survivors silence our traumas. We do this for so many reasons. But it's effects are devastating on our mental health, physical health and every relationship around us.
It's time to gain your power back and use your voice.
You no longer have to be silent.
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Shame
Shame manifests as self-blame, leading individuals to believe they did something wrong or failed to act appropriately. They often think there was something they could have done to prevent the abuse. Feelings of regret arise over their actions or inactions, prompting them to question whether they could have avoided the situation, the location, or the person involved. Additionally, they may feel helpless to share their story, fearing judgment or not being believed.
Was it really that bad?
Survivors of abuse may question the degree of harm suffered. They also may compare their traumas to others and think others have it worse and diminish their own experience. The mantra repeats in the head, "Was it really that bad?" and we stay silent.
Amnesia
Many traumas can cause amnesia of the event(s). While they may have been "forgotten", these memories are stored in our bodies. ​Some survivors report foggy or fragmented memories or even bad dreams. This is all very confusing and robs us of our voice; keeping us silent.
Fear
Fear brings silence because we are afraid of the unknown. What happens next? Will I be believed? Will I be supported? Will the abuser go to jail or be free? Will people see me differently? Will there be retribution? Will speaking only make my life worse?
High demand culture/religion
"Humility" encourages us to focus less on ourselves and prioritize the needs of others. Feeling inherently flawed can reinforce a negative self-image. The call to "forgive and forget" is prevalent, along with the suggestion for restoration with the abuser(s). While professional help is often overlooked, untrained spiritual advisors are frequently recommended. One may feel unable to question authority and feel a "masked" sense of safety. This can lead to a loss of personal autonomy and trust in oneself, providing comfort for some, but leaving others unable to heal.
Protection
Survivors of abuse may choose to remain silent to protect their loved ones from the emotional upheaval that disclosure could cause. They may also fear retribution from the abuser, which could result in harm to themselves or their loved ones.
Silence is lonely.
We believe that everyone deserves to be treated with compassion, empathy, and respect. We're here to listen without judgment, to validate your story and to empower you to find your voice. We understand that the journey to self-discovery and healing can be challenging, but you don't have to walk it alone.
We offer a safe space where you can express yourself openly, explore your thoughts and feelings, and connect with others who share similar experiences.
Reach out today and let's embark on this journey of growth and healing together. Remember, you're not alone.